FOMO vs JOMO

In today’s world of social media language, we have all learned about FOMO, or the Fear Of Missing Out.  I have to admit, this one is pretty handy. 

Fear of missing out has likely increased for most of us, since the rise of social media and the ability to make the most boring and uninspired events look larger than life.  It’s amazing what an angle can do for a scene.  

Personally, when I’m having the time of my life I’m unlikely to capture it on film.  When I’m in the moment I just don’t think to stop and film.  So many other people are taking pics and videos that I’m sure the posts will be made, and all I have to do is enjoy them.  As a result, I’m rarely ever in photographs.  HA!  That’s part of my MO, I love anonymity. 

I notice FOMO creeping in at times, but many other people suffer it constantly. The need to be present, be a part of it, (Whatever it is), be IN the photos, is too great to say no.  

The downside is that constant busyness and social engagement are exhausting.  

I saw a new acronym that we should jump on and make a trend.  JOMO. Joy Of Missing Out.  

That’s me all day.  I say no to things.

I know that missing out is probably as good as going.  

Time is my currency.  I want more time each day to do the things I want, which could be doing something or doing nothing, depending on the day.  When I put value emphasis on my time, it changes how I say yes and no. 

I have opted to live outside the city and I have to commute to attend most events.  Commuting is a drag and feels like a waste of my time although I get to listen to wonderful audiobooks this way.   I must really want to go somewhere to drive 30 minutes, in both directions. 

Even when something sounds fun and cool, if it requires an hour of driving it’s likely to get the ax unless I simply can’t imagine not attending.  

Thanks to the JOMO, I can pass up an event and enjoy something that fills me up or fills my cup in a different way.  

Social activities can be so fun and yet so draining.  I love to be with friends but having a job that requires a lot of social and emotional engagement, I need restorative time alone.  

My friend recently complimented me on my ability to put family and personal needs first, which often means saying no to group activities.  I'm grateful she said it because I worry that eventually, the invitations will stop as people assume I won’t come.  She also said, “I have such terrible FOMO, it’s hard for me to say no to anything.” And when I see her in public she’s tired and stressed and overly busy.  

Do you see the connection? 

When I saw the JOMO article it was such a BAM! moment.  The JOY of missing out simply means that you give yourself permission to miss something while knowing that the thing you do with yourself is equally or maybe even more valuable. 

The holidays bring these concerns to the surface, as people grapple with parties they don’t want to attend but feel obligated to.  Or events they would love to attend but circumstances don’t allow.  

If you say no to things you don’t want to attend it creates white space on your calendar that you can save for things you do.  People will forgive you if they even notice your absence. 

Creating white space on your calendar also creates space in your heart and mind, and brings you time to be who you are.  Relaxation is the antidote to stress and FOMO.  Once you start missing things, the fear will subside and be replaced with JOY. 

Practice your JOMO. Say no when you want to and feel it’s best for you, and don’t worry about it.  Life will go on.  Be polite and honest, but simply say no.  

All the pictures in the world don’t buy you any more time, so savor what you have and spend it wisely.