New Year, Same Me, New Habits
Am I the only person who love-hates the “New Year New Me” schtick?
I love the promise of it, the romance of summing up where I am in life and then creating a new landing page for the next year. I love taking time to reflect on where I’ve come from and be proud of what I’ve accomplished. I love creating new goals.
But I hate the fact that it creates a false narrative that it all must begin RIGHT NOW. The suggestion that our timeline is arbitrary to the calendar year. And I hate that most endeavors take longer than the time we ourselves to achieve them and we quit before ever really getting anywhere.
I do’nt like thinking of myself as the new me, like a pair of new shoes and we just toss the old ones. Starting over with a clean slate feels good but our old self informs our new self, so shouldn’t we carry it along?
Instead of new you, maybe focus on same you with new habits. Habits are what we are all trying to change, really. We want to eat healthier, be kinder, read more books or take over the internet. Whatever it is you want to change it requires shifting your habits to get there.
Obviously there are things beyond our control, and in the fertility world we are reminded of it everyday. For some, simple habit swaps lead to healthy babies, and for others it does not. But no matter your family status, we all have pieces of ourselves that we could improve and habits that could use some updating.
To me, when we say “I’m creating a new habit” it sounds much more realistic than “I’m creating a new ME,” which sounds pretty intimidating. I’ve been working on this me for 45 years and I don’t think I have the energy to start over on a new one. As a lover of a fresh coat of paint, I am happy to keep doing the maintenance and upgrades on this version of me.
I finally realized that my primary focus in life is to be the healthiest version of myself I can be, without sacrificing the fun. Life needs to be fun to make it all worth while. The way I’m cultivating my life now blends health and fun together.
Don’t get me wrong, I want to advance my career to make an impact in the ways I can. I want to embrace the most lucrative years of my professional life (so we’re told) to put some away and spend a bit on traveling. But to do life every day I need something bigger than that.
My currency is time. Having more time trumps more money for me these days and the Covid experience solidified that. I was the busiest at work I’d ever been, but I changed the way I practice to be at home more. I am so grateful for the circumstances that convinced me to make the change and I’ll never go back.
I loved being at home, feeling like time slowed down and life was simple again. I wasn’t suffering the kind of Covid many other people were, I am very aware of that. I can only speak to my experience, which was confusing and tiresome but peaceful. A new kind of gratitude superceded my need to achieve and uncovered the youthful part of me that drowned with obligations and constant striving in my 30’s.
I love the 45 year old version of me. I give less Forks about things, I do business to serve the people who want my experience and I don’t sell myself to anyone outside that small piece of the pie. I only want to work the way I want and I have permission to stop trying to please everyone or grow a business that satisfies the needs of others’ over my own.
So far, my forties are great and this version of me might be the most well-made yet.
On this first day of the year, here are the habits I want to nurturing to continue creating the newest model of me, based on my own annual feedback reports.
Keep trying to learn and appreciate the interwebs. I mean, it’s where we are going, so I need the basic level of understanding.
Spend three days each week creating the writing I’ve always aspired to, even if no one but a few loyalists read it.
More nature walks. I cut them on my busy days becuase of the time commitment, but at least one or two days a week I have to get out there and smell the trees.
Picnics. My habit is to buy something for convenience on the way to or from or eat at home to avoid the hassle. But picnics are so nostalgic and romantic, I’d like to incorporate more traditional picnics in my life.
No screen Fridays. On this evening I intend to destimulate all the eyeballs by adding more candles, music, games and cookouts. I know I won’t have friends over every week, but I can cultivate the house of music and romance that I always imagine, and my people will indulge me on this. I just have to lead the team.
That’s it for me this year. It’s not a revolution, just a few simple tweaks to keep me moving towards the life I dream of.
Like Diddy told us, mo’money, mo’probelms.
Bigger house, bigger mess to clean. But a walk today improves tomorrow’s outlook and that’s how I want to make my plans.
